>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> jason schwartzman, this week in unnecessary sensorship and music from jake owens with cleto and the cletones. now if i may be so bold, here's jimmy kimmel! >> thank you.

all the clapping. i'm glad you're here. we have some good stuff for you tonight. jake owen is here tonight. guillermo diaz is here. jason schwartzman is here. now that he discovered who his real father is, jason schwartzmanagger is here. very cold in the country today. it was 30 below in colorado. in la we had a high of 60 degrees and everyone is talking about how cold it is. we wear knit caps when we watch the movie snow dogs here. i had to squeeze into a tube top. when ever the weather drops below 70 degrees, our local news stations go nuts. there is nothing fake about this

other than some body parts. >> southern california is getting a bitter blast of cold weather this morning. sit cold outside. >> it is cold. it's a little windy out there as well. >> leaves certainly blowing all around. trees swaying. >> how are you feeling right now? >> cold. >> let me ask you a question about this cold. people come in and they come in to escape the cold. this is a really nice spot you have here. >> uh-huh. >> that's okay. >> we see it do you have some sort of a breeze. my hair's blowing around and the leaves blowing around behind me. that can cause some problems. >> what do you think of the temperatures? >> it's getting colder. >> the cold is not only affecting people, it's affecting crops these are some of the oranges we found on the ground. >> jim was caught off guard by the cold snap. >> a little bit of wind showing up here. >> are those clouds? a little bit of cloud cover out

there. >> right now it is 42 degrees. it might have snowed if the temperatures would have dropped a little more. >> warm beverage after warm beverage was handed out. >> stop it. i can't watch it any more. when starbucks has to start handing out warm beverages, wow, that's when you know we're in trouble. now to a place that it is actually cold, toronto where mayor ron ford is giving football picks on a morning radio show. he's a big redskins fan. he loves the nfl. he's a regular bob costas. he debuted this morning. most of the talk was about sports. the mayor wouldn't say much about yesterday's police report.

he is supposed to be on a diet and strict workout program. he said his trainer provided him with the wings which means either he's got a terrible trainer or he's on crack again. ford also reiterated that he should be re-elected mayor of toronto because he saves taxpayers money. although i think he should be re-elected because he's hilarious and because i don't live in toronto. if canada, there is is a good reason he is doing radio in washington d.c. >> washington d.c. needs a mayor we can trust. a mayor like rob ford. passion. drive. >> the mayor is going to attack somebody. >> mayor ford? >> rob ford for mayor of d.c.

he's berry good. >> he started it all. he doesn't get enough credit. the washington post has new details about the nsa and how they're monitoring us. the nsa collects almost 5 billion records a day that can pinpoint a cell phone anywhere in the world, track its movements and map the personal relationships of the person using it. this is interesting. i'll tell you what this means. you know the crazy people that wear the tinfoil hats because they think the government is tracking them? turns out they were right. and by the way, maybe i'm oversimplifying it but how is it possible that they can track every cell phone in the world but can't build a health care website. maybe they should put the nsa in charge of obama care. more than two million passwords

for google, twitter, yahoo! and facebook have been posted online by what they believe to be a group of hackers. christian mingle was left unscathed. linked in passwords were also hacked. they found the most common was one, two, three, four, five, six. that is dumb. if you want to protect yourself, you have to have something harder, like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, for instance. maybe go to eight this is the time of year when people are especially vulnerable to fraud. there is a lot of online shopping. i feel bad for all of the delivery guys. this video popped up online this is a guy who you can't see him but clearly he has had enough. and he just is tossing one -- i think that's a vacuum.

one item after the other out of his truck on to the ground. santa would not be happy about this. he's got a cake. what else does he have? a guy? i didn't know you could ship people. you know, thank you. took like 11 hours. history channel is developing a new tv show about jesus. it's based on the book. actually, it's not based on the book. they say this show is about the lost years of jesus's life that are not covered in the bible. from age 13 to 30. this of course is the jesus we know but producers of the show were able to dig up his high school yearbook photo. went through an awkward teen phase. stars that are just like us, you

know? former president george w. bush is keeping busy. his foundation is selling christmas tree ornaments painted by the president himself for $29.95. president bush has been painting a lot in his retirement. this is a video the president and former first lady made to promote the new endeavour. i watched this like 11 times and i'm really not sure if he's okay. >> well, i have become a painter. and i painted a cardinal for a friend of ours and i really like the bright red on the cardinal and the greens of the foliage and chose my painting for which i'm grateful to become the christmas card and ornament. i'm flattered. and i hope my painting meets

expectations. >> george's original ard will be on our christmas card and part of the christmas ornament. >> and now, it's thursday night, time for our weekly tribute to the fcc. it is this week in unnecessary sensorship! >> coming up on news this morning, moms aren't [ bleep ] [ bleep ] like they used to. >> it's not as [ bleep ] cold as it was earlier this morning. >> i think hillary clinton is the more [ bleep ] democratic nominee. >> i would like to give every [ bleep ] a chance. >> i have had [ bleep ] jobs.

i got [ bleep ] ten times. >> coming up, some amazing footage of a thinning ice [ bleep ] but first check on our forecast. >> i can't tell you the feeling i have [ bleep ] [ bleep ] here again. so many familiar [ bleep ]. >> you are a different kind of [ bleep ]. you were able to bring your [ bleep ] along. >> either stiff [ bleep ] or purple [ bleep ]. that's a medical emergency. >> folks you never want to be [ bleep ] your doctors. >> it's used at a [ bleep ]. >> not when you've had as much practice as i've had. >> hey. what's wrong with the cat? >> that's strange. he's never done that before. >> we will take a break. when we come back, when we come back i'm going to hook some

children up to a fake lie detector. stay with us.

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>> hi there, welcome back. santa is very busy so my friend guillermo and i decided to help him out. we did this by hooking kids up to a lie detector. the lie detector we used is fake but the kids don't know that so

their answers are very real. >> hi there, i'm officer jimmy. nice to meet you. this is the truth fairy. >> how are you? >> do you know what a polygraph is? >> no. >> it's a lie detector. do you know what a lie detector is? >> no. >> if you lie to us it will buzz because it senses your stuff. okay. are you ready to begin? >> yeah. >> what is your name >> fletcher. >> how old are you? >> six. >> have you done anything naughty this year? >> i think i forgot. >> you're saying you don't remember. the machine thinks that you do remember. do you remember? >> yes.

>> okay. tell me about some of those things. >> my brother tackled and me and i tackled him back. >> uh-huh. so you're saying that some of the naughty things you do are only because your brother starts it. >> yeah. >> okay. tell me about some of the nice things that you have done. >> now i but now my brother broke them a little. >> okay. so that's not really a nice thing that you have done but it's a bad thing that your brother has done. what's your brother's name? >> sammy. >> sammy. tell me some of the bad things he has done. >> tackling me, like i said. >> he tackles you? okay. >> the good thing he likes to do is play football. >> but you like to play football with him but you don't like him

to tackle you? >> it's just that he tackles me too hard. >> how old is your brother? >> 4. >> oh, he's 4? >> he's a little stronger. >> do you ever tackle him too hard? >> no. because i'm a gentle boy. >> oh, you're a gentle boy but sammy is not a gentle boy. >> he's a rough boy. >> i'm going to write that down. sammy's not a segentle boy, he'a rough boy. i would like to bring sammy in for questioning. >> hello, sammy, you are you? >> fine. >> now your brother was just here. do you know your brother? what is your brother's name. >> fletcher. >> fletcher said that you are a rough boy and that he's a gentle boy. is that true? that is true. you just like to tackle him

sometimes? what do you say when he gets mad? >> sorry. >> wow. so you're not really sorry when you say it? not really. but you just say it because it makes him stop complaining? does he complain a lot? has he done anything nice this year. >> he bites me a lot of times. >> he bites you? i might have to bring him back in here. >> yeah. >> fletcher do you know why we brought you back in here? >> why? >> i was asking about some of the naughty things that you have done and you didn't mention biting your brother. >> yeah, because i forgot that. >> you forgot that? did you forget or you just

didn't mention it to me? >> i forgot. >> it's okay. >> i think we can move forward from here. do you guys want to give each other a kiss just to show -- i see -- go ahead. maybe you can help them >> that's very nice. >> sam is really going to like that. merry christmas guys. i think you were very honest with me for the most part and i'm going to tell santa that you're on the nice list.

sammy, did you like that? he's a rough boy. >> jimmy: tonight on the show from "scandal," guillermo diaz is here. we have music from jake owen and we'll be right back with jason schwartzman. my boyfriend has a lot of can't-miss moments. i checked out the windows phones and saw the lumia 1020 has 41 megapixels. so i can zoom way in even after i take the picture. and i can adjust the shot before i take it so i get it exactly how i want.

so, i went with a windows phone. maybe i just see things other people don't. ♪ honestly ♪ i wanna see you be brave ♪ which is why he's investing in his heart health by eating kellogg's raisin bran®. mom make you eat that? i happen to like raisins. [ male announcer ] invest in your heart health with kellogg's raisin bran®.

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>> hi there. tonight on the program you know him as huck on "scandal," guillermo diaz is here. it's a two guillermo night. and then with music from this brand new album "days of gold," jake owen from the sony outdoor stage. we've got a great line up for you next week. tom hanks will be here, queen latifah will be here, as will ryan seacrest, carey mulligan, rachel ray, bradley whitford, scott foley, and we'll have music from cage the elephant, mac miller, jeff campbell and childish gambino. so join us then. our first guest is a very talented actor from a very talented family. his uncle is francis ford coppola, his cousins are nicolas cage and sophia coppola, his mom put the

yo in adrian and he co-stars alongside tom hanks and emma thompson in "saving mr. banks." it opens in select cities a week from tomorrow, please welcome jason schwartzman. >> hello, hello. how are you. wow. how's your little girl, your daughter? >> my girl is now three years old. >> it's been that long? that's crazy. i guess she would be doing things. >> she is doing a few things. yesterday was a big day. yesterday was her birthday. it was disney land.

i was waiting for that day to come and we had quite a day. >> is she big enough to go on the rides and stuff? >> not big enough to go on certain rides. you have to be 40 inches to go on certain rides. >> that's height, right? >> yes. she had a great time. i want i did feel bad that it's her birthday. i left her. and i didn't think it was that until after. i was just wait iing. it was incredible. it was incredible. and i grabbed my daughter. happy birthday, it was amazing and i could see in her eyes there was a sense of what happened to my father and my wife saying that's not good.

it doesn't help with her feelings right now. it was bad. >> a little weird. >> did your parents take you to disneyland a lot when you were a kid? >> yeah. well, i grew up here in southern california so i went the average amount. i just assume d. >> i went throughout and just for the record, the difference between little kid and teenager for me, i don't know. i went as a teenager. it was my school, my high school. i was in an art class. >> that's on set. anyway, we went through disney land for this art class and we said we're going to disney land

and you go and pick any aspect of disney land and you're going to write a paper about it and we're going to dig into it. i was just excited. we walk in. i'm with my friend gideon. the door opens and he just takes off running towards a lamp pole and jumps on it and starts swinging on it. i had not known he was going to do that. and this guy comes out of nowhere with a security thing and he walks up and says get off that lamp pole young man. and he said or what? and i was like gideon, you should not be doing this. and he was like what are you going to do about it? and the guy is like off the lamp pole. and he walked away and i said what are you doing? what is this? >> i'm trying to get thrown into disneyland jail. i said what is disneyland jail? he said there is a rumored place

within disneyland that is is a legitimate jail and he was trying for his paper to be thrown into it. and it was amazing. and for the rest of the day we tried to get thrown in jail and it didn't happen. but that was when the seed was planted into my brain what is this jail? i'm in this movie, "saving mr. banks." it's a disney film. we got to go to disneyland, a guided tour from an imagineer. this guy, tony baxter, he gave us a tour. it was supposed to be for research for the movie and all i could say is can we talk for a second about disneyland jail? and he gave me a look like who are you and how do you know of this? he denied it for about five hours. and i stayed on him. all of the actors from the movie

were there. i stayed next to him looking to see if he was acknowledging any part that there could be a jail and giving any cues. after like eight hours of kind of staying with him, stay with tony baxter on this, he finally said look at me. i know that you are a fan of disney. you care about this and he whispered something in my ear, which i cannot tell you, but he did say i'm going to give you a treat. come with me. and i followed him. i was so excited. i couldn't believe it. and then we go into the indiana jones ride, through the exit. and i go tony this is crazy. and we walk through the line and people look at us. and he walks up to it doesn't look like a door but looks like a strange piece of wall. and he goes -- and the door just goes. and literally walked into the

secret back security section of indiana jones ride. and back there in this room and i just realized as i'm saying this i shouldn't be telling this story. sorry. so, minus that, minus that aspect of the whole story, the door opens, i walk back and in it are 40 20-year-old girls dressed as indiana jones -- >> being held prisoner? >> no. no. they were dressed as indiana jones and they work the ride. and they're watching these monitors. you can see the ride on all of the hundreds of tvs. baseball hat on turn five. it was like the most beautiful funny odd greatest moment of my disney life.

beautiful indiana jones ride and i eem so sorry for talking about it. >> we're going to take a break. >> and the movie is called saving mr. banks. we'll be right back. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. (beeping) ♪ (ringing) ♪ the samsung galaxy s4. available at verizon.

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♪ ♪ >> no. no. no. that is not a word. >> we made it up. >> well, unmake it up. >> well, that is "saving mr. banks." that movie is really really good. >> thank you so much. >> tom hanks plays walt disney. and you play a guy who wrote the muse. >> tim: mary pop pins. >> he is one half of the sherman brothers and they are one of the most legendary song writing teams of all times. mary poppins, chitty chitty bang

bang. they wrote "it's a small world after all". >> they should be put in disney jail for that. >> it has gone past catchy to a point where it's like no. stop playing this song. >> it's like malaria, like in that same way. >> it's amazing. >> while we're talking about malaria, do you ever play hide and go seek? >> i have. it's not like a regular. i don't have hide and seek night. you played hide and seek as an adult? >> is that a real question? yes, of course i play it as an adult. i play it weekly. >> you do? >> it's one of the few games that you can play with friends

or alone. and i love it. and i play it, i have a hide and seek night. it's actually two nights and i'm missing it to be here. so i would love to -- do you want to play with me? >> it was a long time ago. >> should i be the seeker or hider? >> i will be the one who closes his eyes. >> the closer? >> is that what they're called? >> depends on where you are in america. >> give me 25 to 30 seconds. you wait for me to tell you. >> i'm sorry. i don't know the rules. >> you ready? >> here we go. one, two, three -- >> close them? >> four.

five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 11, 12, 13 -- what's going on out there? 14, 15, 16 -- >> give me 35 seconds. i need 35 seconds. >> where was i? >> you were at 15. >> 16, 17, 18, 19, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. five more?

>> you can look now. >> 32. >> you can open them. >> 32.5. >> open your eyes. >> open my eyes. >> i'm hidden you can open them. >> all right. okay. >> be back here. audience. is he back behind anyone here? no. is he over here? all right. all right. he's in the back there? it's not really fair.

>> really, it's really good, isn't it? there you are. how did you get under there? you're really good at this. >> thank you. thank you for playing with me. >> unbelievable. wow. >> it is incredible. you didn't see where jason went? >> nope. . >> maybe invite me next week. jason schwartzman, everybody. >> a week from tomorrow. right back with guillermo.

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♪ clean up the bows and the ribbons and tags. ♪ ♪ whoever's first is the first to play, ♪ ♪ with the good things that we got today. ♪ ♪ that's my kind of holiday.

>> our next guest plays an assassin on a very popular show, "scandal". please say hello to guillermo diaz. it's very good to meet you. i don't know if you're aware of this, but there is is a lot of confusion as a lot of people think guillermo's last name is diaz but it's rodriguez. >> if you google guillermo, i think both of our pictures pop up along with a basketball

player. >> it's a very common name, it's willi william, basically right? >> i always thought my name was unique and rare. i was like cool. i thought it was really cool. it's like there is a guillermo everywhere. >> yeah. your parents are from cuba. they moved to the united states. they moved to the united states and to washington heights. they must be thrilled they moved to the country and their son becomes a famous actor. >> my dad takes all of my magazines that i have been in in newspaper clippings and he gets them all laminated. you know what i'm talking about. >> is he reading in the rain? >> he just wants to preserve them. my mom has boxes of my stuff lamina laminated.

>> you don't mind if he does that. >> i don't care. >> did they take you sometimes when you go home on the tour. they have to show you off to people? >> they will take it over to like neighbor's houses. >> this character, i was thinking about it today. he's a good guy. he's on the side of our hero, but he's really not a good guy. >> no, no. >> and the show that aired tonight, you do something terrible. >> yeah. >> torture. >> it's bad. there are teeth involved. teeth and blood. >> of somebody that you know and are friends with. >> somebody that i love and part of the family. it's creepy, but people still feel this sort of they want to save huck. there is something very sad and tragic.

so there is is a little bit of, you know, something there. >> it seemed tonight that he did enjoy the torture. >> he did. >> and what is that like when you're an actor torturing one of your fellow actors. is it just like whatever? or is it uncomfortable? >> tonight i was torturing my girl. i'm close to everyone on scandal. i'm closest, i think, to katika. it wasn't as weird torturing her. but if guest stars come in and you literally have to get naked and they put them in a dingaling sock if it's a guy. a skin colored ding a ling sock. >> why do you think naked is one of the prerequisites of huck's technique? >> he doesn't want to bloody too many things up.

>> do you untie them for lunch? >> no. you know what's funny? i'm always overly nice. they're always strapped in by plastic wrap or electrical tape. >> they are laminated. laminated people. just like your father. so crazy, the genes really. >> i'm overly nice and bring them water. you guys all right? >> i guess you have to do that. >> the character is great. everybody loves your character and probably one of the most popular characters on the show. congratulations on all of your success. guillermo diaz, everybody. "scandal" airs thursdays at 10 here on abc. when we come back, music from jake owen.

♪ thank you grandma for the dolls. ♪ ♪ i love it! ♪ i'm ninja kicking through the halls. ♪ ♪ i love it! ♪ mom's posting pictures on your wall. ♪ ♪ that's my kind of holiday. to those who've encountered welcome to covered california. new, affordable health plans so you can be ready for whatever comes your way. enroll today at coveredca.com.

♪ i picked it out in a snap ♪ what made it genius ♪ was my camouflage wrap ♪ that's my kind of holiday

>> i'd like to thank jason schwartzman, guillermo diaz and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first, this is his album "days of gold," here with the title track, jake owen. ♪ ♪ long truck bed hop in it fire engine red like her lipstick out here we can let it go ♪ ♪ just me and my good friends jug of wine

a little sin out here baby you just never know ♪ ♪ yeah these are the days of gold ♪ ♪ well it's a southern summer whiskey's in the air dogs on the burner ♪ ♪ beer's ice cold gotta pretty little lady to hold oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ it's a southern summer that sun's shinin down like daddy's silver dollar ♪ ♪ gotta hop on the old dirt road to the days of gold oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ a little july sky so high moon shine by the river side stealin' hearts and runnin' wild ♪ ♪ yeah our own world tennessee boys and girls runnin' free out here it's good times for miles ♪ ♪ yeah these are the days of gold ♪ ♪ well it's a southern summer whiskey's in the air dogs on the burner ♪ ♪ beer's ice cold gotta pretty little

lady to hold oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ it's a southern summer that sun's shinin' down like daddy's silver dollar ♪ ♪ gotta hop on the old dirt road to the days of gold oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ a little bit of you little bit of me what you wanna do what's it gonna be ♪ ♪ we can get wild we can live free or you can shake it for me baby like a tambourine ♪ ♪ a slice of watermelon and you spit the seed sweat on your back stickin' to the seat ♪ ♪ we can sneak off to beat the heat